Haha, okay okay, pardon me for my amateur lying skills. Dear reader(s), I'm just pulling your leg(s). I know for a fact that he's the character from a show I watched after midnight. If my memory's not paralyzed thoroughly, I think the tittle's called Kickin' It Back Old School. And no, grandmother, not literally. I'm not pulling any leg. *waves both hands in the air and turns* SEE? Okay for some reason images of a police officer's confrontation with a criminal appear.
Grandma in a police suit (speaks into loud-hailer even though I'm only a meter away): Put your hands where I can see them. I say put 'em up. HANDS UP! remove any form of weapon in possession. I repeat..(repeats the whole chunk of words through the loud-hailer, and this time, louder than ever)
Me in a chicken outfit (displays all weapons and puts it on the floor as directed): I've shown you everything Granny!
Grandma: Oh don't you granny me! So you think I'm your mother's mother or something? And for heaven's sake, since when did I marry your Grandfather? *chuckles* (by this time my face would distort into an expression that screams "WHAT THE FUCK?")
Me in a duck outfit (don't ask me why I'm changing into another outfit. It's just one of my dreams to be a duck. I don't care what you think you mother-QUACKer!(Ridiculous isn't it?) Did I just have a bracket inside a bracket?) : I'm all out Ma'am.
Grandma: Don't you ma'am me. My, my, where's your manners dear girl. I'm your freaking grandmother for pete's sake! And what's there in your hand huh?
Me in a cat outfit (a piece of advice, never wear a cat costume near a bitch (a term for a female dog) Shucks, there it goes again! brackets in a bracket! NEWS FLASH: bracket syndrome spreading like an epidemic!!!) : It's a banana. Why? It's not as if this banana's gonna form a huge black hole in the Earth sucking everything and destroying the whole entire solar system as soon as it comes with bare human skin ?! Geez granny, you have a lot going on in there *points to brain* for a person as old as you.
Steven Spielberg : Cut.. CUT! *silence follows suit* HOLYFUCK, i think Hiro nakamura just teleport me to Singapore! And why is there a cat and a granny in a police suit fighting? Dude, what's wrong with the world nowadays?!
Okay, there goes my dreams of becoming a film writer. *crosses out the word 'film writer' on the long list of barbaric ambitions to be achieved or should i say a list of Impossibilities. Right, more along the lines of the impossible, when tasks like marrying Darth Vader (?!) and being Ronald Mcdonald are listed on it. Which insane, immature kid could this list belong to? Eyes scroll down to end of this seemingly endless letter *guy passes infront of me with a cardboard with writing on it that says, 50 YEARS LATER* Finally, after reading, 10, 281, 459 dreams, my eyes met the scribbling on the bottom of the page. Cross-eyed with one eyeball on the verge falling out of the eye socket, hanging there like a marble tied to a red pulsing thread. Oh, don't get me started on how the hanging eyeball is moving! Fine, so as to not ruin this blog post any further, I'll not go into details which is determined to blow your mind away due to it's grotesque grossness, obviously. Despite that though, I can still see the name written. Siti Mahirah Binte Mohd Jalil. *face falls to the floor in embarrassment* And no granny, not literally. Let not go through the whole confrontation again. I'm only human that dares to dream. Why do I dream? Because I'm stupid. It just so happens that humanity and stupidity goes hand in hand, perfectly meant for each other. For instance, like heaven and earth, or was it chocolates and ben & Jerry's? Either way, you get it right? If not welcome to the world of stupidity.
So for today, hindustani movies have captured the heart of 7. My family had been watching, heart-rending yet absurdly ridiculous story-line played by actors in such movies. Yet again, this fine selection of type of movie have astound us and emerged as the winner of most watched for this week. Stay tune next week for more update on current movie hits that would attract these pathetic couch potatoes' interest. Suddenly, images of Syaz and Bech doing the bangla dance conjure. Golly, i really miss them terribly. Not forgetting, Michelle and Anor! The whole clan, including sherwinny! They've made my secondary two life so memorable and fun. Even fun's an understatement if I were to describe it specifically. To you guys, I love you very much and thanks for everything. Thanks for the hugs when I'm down, the advice when I'm helpless, the support when I was alone and of course the endless joy and happiness you've brought me. Thank you very very very much.
I've never exactly been the type who would blog about my daily life. And the most valid reason is because, my boring life is not worth reading. But this accident is just worth blogging. FO SHO.
Syida and I were walking aimlessly around town. Hoping we would somehow reach Plaza Sing. Out of the sudden, Syida's bladder were scolding vulgarities at her, she gotta take a leak as soon as possible. So to prevent her bladder from bursting and also to prevent flooding and the sinking of Singapore to occur, we took a little detour from our inane walking and head towards the nearest toilet. Don't ask me where we were. I think if we were suddenly transported to China we wouldn't even realize it because we were too caught up laughing about my imitation of Leona Lewis' voice at the recent Europe Music Awards. So we just went entering presumably what looked like a mall, eyes searching at all directions for the toilet sign. Finally, we found it. While going to the toilet, I still kept imitating Leona Lewis' way of speech, her very polite yet very irritating meek voice. By then, Wonderwoman, Syida, had already dashed off to the ladies, leaving me behind. If I'm not wrong, I was searching for something in my bag. Something I don't quite remember now. Something I regret finding. I then made a turn to the left and entered the first toilet that i saw, neglecting the sign on the door. I stood infront of the mirror, grooming and preening. The lighting of the toilet that reflected on the mirror made me look less ugly. So i thought of snapping a few images since it's quite rare that such lighting made my face seem nice. Though, the idea was abandoned when an image of a person with short, spiky hair start appearing on the mirror as reflection. Let's call this certain someone, stranger 1. I didn't take much concern about that person's gender because though stranger 1 does look more like a guy, in this current quirky world, to dress like the opposite sex is a norm.
As soon as I was done making my hair look a little less ridiculous, the image became clearer. A guy with a very strong face contour with a 5 o'clock shadow as they call it, or to the less man-facial-hair educated, somewhat like a pre-beard. A FREAKING GUY! Even though i didn't see my reflection, i could tell my face turned into a very deep shade of pink, close to red. No longer able to hide the embarrassment, i immediately lift up my feet and walk out of the Gents. It took about 5 seconds for my eyes to drift from that man's stare. Because he showed me this "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" expression on his face. Which I couldn't help but stare as a way to ask him to fuck off. And also of course, another more valid reason was that, my brain took 5 seconds to send the signals to my organs and body parts to make me move and flee away. My whole body was too engulf in shock and embarrassment that it was as though my brain jammed on it's breaks to a halt to all the activity that i was doing at that point of time. So it took quite a while for the brain to restore it's ermmm, sanity. My face were still a deep shade of pink when i pass this guy that was standing by the door, probably wanting to go in but stopped in his tracks because of my presence. Even he wore the same expression! A minute after zooming straight inside the ladies, waiting for syida to come out, my face became a lighter shade of fushcia and then gradually turn to my natural skin tone. Don't worry readers (if any), I didn't see any scary creatures while in the Gents. HAHA, if you get what I mean.
It was evidently the most embarrassing thing that happened during this holiday. Even the accident in the MRT couldn't defeat this hilariously shameful incident. Let me elaborate more on this a bit. Syida and I were standing near the door and we were singing hits like "Kim possible" and Danny Phantom". Yes we did. In the presence of a crowd of commuters in the train. It was surprisingly fun! When i wanted to ask syida to move aside, as we were leaning against the glass panel near the sliding doors of the train, my head hit the "wall" of the train. With a loud thud! This Caucasian woman face turned pink as she tried to contain her laughter! MEAN people.
I no longer want to blog for today. No seriously.
All in all today was a blast, thanks to syida, Leona Lewis, Stranger 1 and plaza Sing (: