The rain just subdued. The roar of the thunder have disappeared. Almost immediately, my eyes look further outside the window. Darting for something appealing for my eyes so I can neglect my duties as a teenage girl. My chores filled with weary hearts and frowns. Attempting to put my daily boring routine to a halt. It was so cold I swear to God the rain was forcing me to a peaceful slumber. Little Myras inhabiting inside my head yawned and are now chanting "SLEEEEPY", all saying in different tones yet all in the same lethargic motion. 

This mundanity is driving me to insanity. And when it does, music is my refuge. I close my eyes and transport myself into my head (figuratively of course), where I would just think, reminisce and unwind till my mind explodes like fractured glass with fragments so small it can fit into the eye of a needle due to overly dramatic thinking disorder or something similar to of stated previously. Okay i'm too disgruntled to slap myself for making absurd lame attempts to be funny. Somebody please stick a post-it on my forehead as a reminder saying, "4.30 p.m 3/1/09, SLAP YOURSELF" Thanks, honey.

As another year unfolds, I sit and think, reminisce. Cry and smile. I usually, like the 'ol folks like to say, sit absorbed in my blue funk. But for what? Why do I do all this? Because I like ice-cream.

Counting down days, then hours, then minutes and finally seconds. Frenzied heart palpitations signify the weariness of my heart as the outside world count down to yet another year. Another 365 days. Like a blank canvas spread out infront of me, as wide as my eyes can see with presumably endless length. And all I am told to do is color and fill it in with my sins and tragedies, faults and flaws. Not forgetting my rare appreciated deeds and happy moments. But where does this lead to? I'm lost and petrified, to tell you the truth. Undeniably afraid to take a step into reality and believe that another year have come and that I have no way to run away from it. The never-ending fear of not having an unerring sense of direction creeps inside me every now and then, freaking the living Myras out of me. Like I'm wrapped with toilet roll (new ones of course, which means it's not soaked with urine or shit of any kind) all over with eyes glued with super-glue and thrown to live my life as that. Jumping head first  at a daily basis, not knowing what to expect. 

Unfortunately for me, I'm the type of girl who wants the last word. I'm terrified of not having a sort of sure-fire plan to life. So yeah, as you probably can guess now, I'm a fucking organized freak who lives her life in a box of chocolates. Okay, no. Well, everybody can have dreams right.

Let's not drift further away from the subject here. Not again. It has suddenly dawned on me that I've been living my life pretty well despite the absence of any plans whatsoever. On top of that, I've lend my helping hand to friends in need, a listening ear to rants and other good deeds I don't recall but I swear existed. In contrast with this, the surprise and the inability to foresee the future gets my adrenaline going. And who can deny the fun surprises bring to humans. 

Every year on every 30th or 31st of December I find myself being nostalgic about the past year. Now, I'm trying to forget all my sweet regrets. From getting sacked from the council board (well actually i still find it HILARIOUS) to getting detentions and a lot more bad acts that I do not wish to enclose. Sigh, I'm pretty ashamed about it all. I mean all the things I do, I could have prevent. But I let my stubbornness and rebellious side control me. I feel real washed-out. And frankly, really tired of living life the way i did in 2008.

So that is why, I've decided to repent and I'm going to mend my ways. No way am I going to let myself waste such precious time anymore. I'm sick of myself. Sick of doing nothing. I want to do something. Make an impact. So I've planned to study and revise as much as I could in terms of studies. And hopefully while I juggle with education and my social life, my faith in Allah would be restored. As that's what I think, is the missing piece in my life in which is needed for me to succeed because if faith in Him is obtained, patience, optimism, peace and such would would be injected in me naturally.

Let me not waste more time. I need to do something useful, pronto. And my spidey senses are telling me I should get some food because my smelly belly is yelling vulgarities. After that, I would do my tooshie a favor and make big business with Mr Toilet bowl which I'm in love with very very much. Okay seriously, WHERE'S THE POST-ITS WHEN I NEED 'EM?!