(My prepaid plummeted to a zero. Please do not message)
The seat was comfortable. The dark blue complimented the dark and dull skirt of my uniform. I plugged in my earpiece to my ears and turned on my music. My songs synchronized with my thoughts. Millions of notes to make a rhythm, hundreds of thoughts to fill my mind. The scenery outside went past me at a fast speed. No beauty. Frankly, pretty mundane. Then my eyes fixed on the glass panel that reflected my face. An expression filled with enigma. Confusion. weird. Really.
My eyes darted to the sign that was plastered on one of the walls of the train. 'Priority Seat'. Automatically, my eyes highlighted the word priority with the brightest yellow. And at the same time, seemingly making the surroundings from a myriad of the dullest gray to black. Everything I saw was gloomy, except the word priority. My focus was captured by it. How can something so small make a big difference?
It finally dawned on me that I can no longer iron out my mind straight. Make it the way it used to be. Make it organized with my priorities. I am deprived of the ability to erase all scruples and doubts. Now, what I am left with is the yin without the yang.
A question I find an irritant is "Why the rebellion?". I usually find myself dumbstruck for I realize at that moment of time the redundancy of this mutiny I have created against my own will. This disobedience I have created against my own self. Why am I showering myself with denial as I run away from the truth? Why? Why? Why?
My brain became an impasse, disconnected from the truth that is staring at me with a sneering expression. It's utterly frustrating to have myself repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
When can I relish in placid peace?