Nur Syida Binte B.

Sorry I wasn't there for you. Sorry I was never good enough. Sorry I never fulfilled my duty(s). Sorry everybody was just better than me. Sorry I made you rely on me too much. Sorry that I've jeopardized your feelings. Sorry the plan to save our friendship failed. Sorry for actually thinking I was successful in the plan. sorry for being such a dumb-fuck. Sorry my efforts that would pay in the long run did not reach to you. Sorry I was selfish. Sorry that the memories we have, couldn't remind you of how strong our friendship was. Sorry that our stable foundation was disrupted because of my physical absence. Sorry that you needed me physically to know I cared for you. Sorry I assume you understood that it was for the better. Sorry that it seemed like I wasn't trying enough. Sorry that the memories we have and the shit we've went through was for nothing. Sorry I mean nothing to you. Sorry that all the time that I was there for you couldn't compensate for the time I wasn't. Sorry that in this period of time, all I did before was lost in the current absence. Sorry your impatience was overshadowing what we actually had. Sorry that you hate me so much. Sorry that you wanted revenge. Sorry that you don't care for me at all. Sorry that you don't give a fuck even if the other person whom I love greatly asked me to fuck off. Sorry that you don't give a fuck that I was left alone suffering from the immense pain of losing not one but two of my love ones. Sorry I'm a bitch. Sorry I was never the best despite the status given. Sorry you thought I purposely wanted to hurt you through my absence. Sorry you thought that I didn't care for you at all. Sorry that this friendship never mattered to you. Sorry and sorry seriously. Sorry for not keeping to your expectation. Sorry I expected too much from you. Sorry all I seem to do is hurt you. Sorry syida sorry. Sorry as a bestfriend, all I keep doing is deepenyour bruises. Sorry that I mislead you into thinking that leaving me during a critical stage of fragility, was beneficial for my happiness. Sorry I can't understand. Sorry I'm such a bitch. Sorry you think I've changed. Sorry for not understanding. Sorry for not knowing that the things we went through couldn't close the gap and distance between us. Sorry for everything really. Sorry you wasted so much time and effort to invest in an asshole like me. Sorry. And thank you for everything. I love you to death. And you know that. Forever, you'll not just be a video book shelved beside other significant stories with other humans, you'll be part of me. I'll always share apart of myself for you. You've moulded me, my heart, my mentality, my thinking, to be a better person. And you've taught me so much, that I would be asking too much if I begged you to stay. I'm not good enough for your blog posts even, so don't waste time on me. You're an amazing person. You shouldn't waste your precious time and effort on me. That's just plain stupid. Syida, I've always hoped for the best for you because I always want you to get the better portion of life because you deserve it. I've known you long enough syida to know you deserve better than what you settled for. I hope, and know you'll lead a better and happier life without my presence. May the peace of Allah always be with you syida. I love you and care for you. You will forever be the bestest sister/friend/bestfriend/mother/father/cousin/roommate/teammate/"churchmate"(ha, if you get what I mean)//girlfriend/fashion consultant/brother anybody will ever have. Be the best, because I know you can. Thank you for being a part of my life and I hope you will continue to be a part of mine. But I shouldn't ask too much. I want to thank you and my gratitude goes beyond what words can portray. I've gone through too much with you to forget us. Dude, you'll always have a part of you in me. Because we both know, no one knows me better than you do. I love you to death. Sorry. And thank you. For everything. Take care my everlasting bestest friend. And be happy always. I seriously wish you all the best, be strong okay? I trust you. Goodbye, :(