I wish i can swim with my eyes closed,
And I wish i can sneeze underwater also.
For all these wishes i wish to enclose,
I say i'mma big fuckin' BITCHY mofo.
I know I don't make sense.
I know i don't.
It's really irritating that i get misunderstood.
I wish i had five star tattoos,
each special, varying in size.
Oh i know you want to kick my arse.
But please acknowledge the tears in my eyes.
shuttup. shuttup. shuttup.
why wouldn't people tell me that
when i hurt two people at once?
Same place, same time.
My biggest mistake ever,
I AM sucha bitch.
oh this regret will linger and i know it won't go away.
I'm sorry for what i've done (insert-secret-name-here),
i was just so devastated,
So darn hurt and crushed when i saw all the posts in your blogs.
Yes blogs. I saw both.
The ones with bitching and labeling.
I thought we had a great friendship.
Doing all the stuff friends do,
But no,
how wrong i was to think that.
I knew we were close but i just couldn't comprehend the agony when i'm forced to
gossip about my own best friends.
I do admit i did engage in those topics.
But i had my dose of karma and realized there's not much to bitch about when you know
them for who they really are and accept them the way they've accepted you.
thanks (insert-secret-name-here) for being there when i was ranting about them.
But you know what,
Sometimes you're just as culpable when you listen to a gossip as when you actually gossip/bitch about someone.
but i'm still sorry.
Just so f'ckin sorry.
I just missed those days,
that it crushed me so badly when i saw all those cold harsh words being said about them.
Now it was a pretty good deed that i didn't tell on you.
but no thanks were said.
hm,
Despite that i knew you didn't deserve to be treated as bad as I did.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it that way.
Maybe i did.
Fuck denial
I did mean it.
Then,
the words that you typed out on the blog was streaming in my head.
sentences joined together.
it was playing, repeating in my mind.
It was as though an evil maniac
narrated to me the whole story of how our friendship went down the drain,
repeating.
Each time, amplifying louder.
those harsh words.
Oh that's how deeply pressured i was to hate you.
Just one blog and it can change my views of you,
my perspective.
I must admit that
although you left a negative impression of yourself,
the sweet memories of the friendship are still vivid in my mind.
that allowed me to accept you again.
To mend my ways,
to not be so judgmental.
Oh how tired and flushed i am to hear the same old gossips being repeated.
I'm sick of it (insert-secret-name-here)
Now armed with new friends,
you've lost me.
together with my respect and love for you.
But whatever it is,
i'll still treat you as a friend even if you don't.
I'm downright apologetic for what i've said.
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
Agitated.
Bombarded.
Crushed.
Devastated.
Engulf in Emotions.
Fucked up.
Giddy.
Helpless.
Irritated actually.
Jackass.
Kick-ass-mood.
Loserfaced, please don't break up. (I love each and every one of you)
Mentally deranged.
Nothing else surprises me anymore.
Optimism worn off.
Pairs of pliers to fix my heart, mind.
Questionable.
Restless.
Sucker/Suicidal.
Tamperer.
Useless.
Vicious/vanish.
Washed out.
Xorcism on me.
Yes, kill me.
Zany.