I just wanna make a shout out to my MUMMY, Zaliha Bte Ahmad. I love her to death. Even tho she can be a pain in the ass sometimes, I mean all mums are suppose to be, occasionally of course, She's still a sweetheart.
I can't exactly explain why. But I woke up feeling dead and devastated.
Now after watching my daily morning dose of Family guy,( Highly recommended for the faint-hearted) (no, i'm just kidding) I'm in my parents' room, typing my thoughts into life. Penning the words down, or in this case, typing it. It puzzles me why I woke up feeling like a loser. Well, maybe I am one. Hence the feeling. The sudden realization that I'm a only lazy ass, a ne'er-do-well, hit me so hard that I think my brain must have fallen off. That aside, I dreamt that I was copying someone's math homework and I didn't complete in time. To add to the enigma, I was feeling nauseous and pressured while I was dreaming. Nauseous probably because I was breathing under my dad's sweaty shirt which someone, presumably my sister placed on top of my face. And pressured, because I was dreaming about math. Like duh with a capital D. And strangers surrounded me. Either that or my brain forgot who the strangers were. Or it was too lazy to move it's ass to work. Yes, my brain have an ass. Bleah.
I looked up, staring at the white-painted ceiling. The white ceiling became like a white-board. Like a huge big blank canvas with a bold capital letter F, in the middle, circled in red ink , which evidently stands for FAILURE. Its real upsetting and heart-breaking when I think about the future. That's two words that freaks the living crap outta me; THE, not so much freakz-me-outz-scary, but it means something huge and important. And the next word, FUTURE, never would i thought this word would scare me. But it does. It freaking does.
Today's the ninth of december. December, the last month of 2008. 2008's ending. And i've yet to accomplish anything. Nothing. Only bad grades and disappointed faces shot at me.
I wish I had a bubble to hide in. Hide away from reality. Hide from humanity. Hide from humility. And block out everything, starving with mundanity accompanying me. I hate my life right now., fo sho, you ho.