"sigh. you know when somebody hurts you too much that all the love care and shit you had for them's lost? and in turn, turns to anger & hatred."
Tuesday, October 11
Sun rays
Humor
I'm still finding for that last ounce of fuck that i can give to you. too bad, i don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry. I think I took it abit too far my mean attitude towards you. but it's just that you... sigh. you fucked up. fucked up real bad. not just now, now just a few days ago, its the whole thing. and i just... got so angry at myself and you for making me so miserable. but i just lost it. Wan, i lost everything i have for you. I cannot carry on in this relationship anymore. you know what rly makes me realize how bad this is? its when i realize I rather deal with the hurt of a heartbreak than having to deal with this rship. yes i know you're going to change and everything. Srsly, good for you. and i mean that sincerely. but i've changed too. I no longer love you. I'm sorry.
Monday, October 10
cliche?
45 THINGS A GIRL WANT, BUT WON'T ASK FOR:
1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
...4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.
Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.
KEEP READING ..
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.
Are you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she’s beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.
One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!
WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US ..
26. Don’t lie to her.
27. DON’T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.
ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT.
31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.
REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..
36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.
41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.
You’ll never know when she needs just a little more love .. ♥
1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
...4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.
Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.
KEEP READING ..
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.
Are you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she’s beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.
One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!
WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US ..
26. Don’t lie to her.
27. DON’T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.
ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT.
31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.
REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..
36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.
41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.
You’ll never know when she needs just a little more love .. ♥
Tuesday, October 4
Hello baby! i hope you're surprised when you see this note i wrote for you. hee! woop! baby, you're the best! there's no one like you. im sorry if i ever did anything wrong to you. im really sorry. hmm, baby i love you.. i dont ever wanna lose you, you and me against the world remember? nothing can break us apart right? till death do us apart. k la baby i dont want to say so much.. but keep in mind that i love you, only you.. i love you!!!!!
<3<3<3
with lots of love, Fatty Wanny <3<3<3
<3<3<3
with lots of love, Fatty Wanny <3<3<3
Heaven/Hell
My heart was once so hollow.
But you filled me with love; too much of it
So baby, please don’t ever go.
The walls I’ve made are now so thin,
Showing off the ugliness of my skin.
Push away, was what I thought you’d do,
But you proved me wrong.
How can I not love you?
And thus became my heart so strong.
You replaced rights into all my wrongs.
Baby you’re my high, I don’t need no bong.
I can finally love after so long.
I’ll seal this promise with a kiss,
So tell me baby are you pleased?
This story I’ll tell to our own kids,
When we’ll be old all wrinkly ass and shits,
Because that’s where I want to be,
There with you as old as can be.
With our eyes almost blind;
Though we can’t see, I’ll always remember
All the love you’ve given me.
So baby please smile,
And count to three.
For all I ever want to believe is
That one day, you’ll go down on one knee,
Saying “baby, will you marry me?”
Wanny
"Dear Dearly Dearest,
Our fairy tale started on the 13th May 2011 and ever since then, my life has been better. You, have brought me to where I am now. You moulded me into something I can never achieve with my own two hands. But you helped me, guided me and nurtured me to be better. When I look at you with your arms wrapped around me, I see a glimpse of pride in your eyes; like you’re proud of me, like I’m your one true, treasure. I’ve always thought all guys are the same. But you, you proved me wrong. Your teases, the way your nose creases, it’s all this differences that makes our hearts similar. I’m never good at this entire love thing. But you’ve made it easier. You make it seem as if I was born to love. You smile when I smile. And when you smile the whole world stop and there’s just you and me…. Okay that’s a bit too corny for our own good. Haha. I miss you right at this moment, Ridhaudin Ridhwan. All the moments in between when you’re not with me, I wish you were, at a short distance from me so I can hold you and let my body speak how much it yearns to fit in with yours. You make me smile within a split second. Your words and actions affects me greatly; I can crumble and cry in a minute and with a quick twist of your expression I can dance in joy. Because only with you Ridhaudin Ridhwan am I able to be myself, and prance around like the little kid I am, for you see me as beautiful even at my worst. All along, I’ve always felt that you needed more from me that you have high expectations of me that I can never fulfil. But that’s only because you see potential in me, potential to be better. I’ve always asked you to leave, to be with someone better. But all I really honestly want is for you to stay and watch me get better for you. Don’t ever leave. Don’t ever say you don’t love me. For all I ever want is to spend the rest of my useless life, with you for only with you, am I the happiest kid, or in this case toddler around. I want you, in my now, later and in my forever. For all I want is to be wrapped and pressed against your fats forever. I love you, only you."
Our fairy tale started on the 13th May 2011 and ever since then, my life has been better. You, have brought me to where I am now. You moulded me into something I can never achieve with my own two hands. But you helped me, guided me and nurtured me to be better. When I look at you with your arms wrapped around me, I see a glimpse of pride in your eyes; like you’re proud of me, like I’m your one true, treasure. I’ve always thought all guys are the same. But you, you proved me wrong. Your teases, the way your nose creases, it’s all this differences that makes our hearts similar. I’m never good at this entire love thing. But you’ve made it easier. You make it seem as if I was born to love. You smile when I smile. And when you smile the whole world stop and there’s just you and me…. Okay that’s a bit too corny for our own good. Haha. I miss you right at this moment, Ridhaudin Ridhwan. All the moments in between when you’re not with me, I wish you were, at a short distance from me so I can hold you and let my body speak how much it yearns to fit in with yours. You make me smile within a split second. Your words and actions affects me greatly; I can crumble and cry in a minute and with a quick twist of your expression I can dance in joy. Because only with you Ridhaudin Ridhwan am I able to be myself, and prance around like the little kid I am, for you see me as beautiful even at my worst. All along, I’ve always felt that you needed more from me that you have high expectations of me that I can never fulfil. But that’s only because you see potential in me, potential to be better. I’ve always asked you to leave, to be with someone better. But all I really honestly want is for you to stay and watch me get better for you. Don’t ever leave. Don’t ever say you don’t love me. For all I ever want is to spend the rest of my useless life, with you for only with you, am I the happiest kid, or in this case toddler around. I want you, in my now, later and in my forever. For all I want is to be wrapped and pressed against your fats forever. I love you, only you."
All About Us
I want to cry. SO fucking bad. No, I have people to rely on. And I can bawl my eyes out and know there'll be tissues handed out to me. But is that enough. Can that counter your absence?
It's like I've died. Alive now. But does anyone recognize that? No, no, but they miss me. Aren't they happy I'm back? No.
I guess I gotta start afresh. And forget about you. I need Danny. Sigh. He was my bestfriend too.. somewhat-ish. And I miss that skinny bitch. But does he miss me?
I want to die.
It's like I've died. Alive now. But does anyone recognize that? No, no, but they miss me. Aren't they happy I'm back? No.
I guess I gotta start afresh. And forget about you. I need Danny. Sigh. He was my bestfriend too.. somewhat-ish. And I miss that skinny bitch. But does he miss me?
I want to die.
Thursday, January 27
Artificial Flavoring
I want to repierce my tongue. Significance? To stop lying. the mouth acts as a cage to halt the lies from trespassing into reality. The barbell as an anchor to magnetize the lies to where it belongs in the sealed confinement of my lips. I don't wish to narrate lies for words cannot be taken back easily. But it's always an easy option that I do it on a daily basis,\. Put on a mask everyday for really, I'm hiding things you don't wish to see. I have constant battle between my heart and my brain whose also concurrently fighting with insomniac tribulations.To not breath life into these personal arguments for the real world may not comprehend the life and times of Myra. Must be hard living in a liar's body, I suppose. Lying has become so formidable force to be reckoned with, I give up. And have surrendered to its powers as it lies so comfortably in my skin. So I seem more composed thn ever. The flexible layer or compiled lies envelopes scars I don't want to reveal and replaces it with a big ass smile, my face has grown to love. Because I'm tired of singing the same tune again, tired of being tired and tired of fucking around with my teenage angst. I give up, I swear.
Wednesday, January 26
you and I
I prostrated on the floor. My body moved not in sync with the holy rhythm of prayers. My joints rusty from vigourous movements weaved with the intracacies of sins, coupled with a motley of iron nails. I choke on my own conscience. I exorcised the negativity present that is deep in the core of my voice box as it utters the well-orchestrated vulgarities. Indignance was felt due to the injustice of the bias punishment. the cage... that holds me close, barbed like the fangs of vipers; spiteful beyond tears. I clenched my fist as the skin overlapping my knuckles stretches to it's maximum, pale as the blankness of my mind, the numbness derived from perpetual hurt. The gregarious misery made love with my heart and enticed it to freeze in a police state, I wanted to die. I wanted to close my eyes, and jump, head first into nothingness and wish the air around me is hospitable enough to comfort my fall. I punched the wall, screamed out loud and cried like tomorrow will never come. I felt like all I wanted to do was vanish.
Enough, I had enough God.
Enough, I had enough God.
Friday, January 7
tired & Uninspired
My forehead creases around a new avenue. The scar's small and doesn't substantiate the pain that it bears. I'm tired, honestly to be judged on my every move. I've never been like Jesus in decision-making.. I'm just saying. For 16 years of my life, you guys have taught me and drilled this fact in me that it's hard for me to steer away from this mentality; independence. You've always said when I pled for your opinions, that I'm old enough to be on my own. So I've grown in solitude. I've forced myself to be dealt with in this lonely void.. because I'm old enough to not rely on others. To be a free-bird. And now taht I'm comfortable with the wrinkled skin of solitude.. you say I'm too young?
now you're swallowing what you've puked onto me? you're cursing my lifestyle, how I think, the way I react, my nonchalance to everything and my existence. Reality check, my stubbornness is only derived from my bad upbringing and as you guys to look upon. So, I guess it's your fault?
You tried to kill me. At that moment, the only words I was thinking, wasn't God don't let me die, it was Fuck you. I can't wait to get out of this house. I'm only a fucking teenager. I've done my responsibilities. You've said so yourself taht my only responsibility was my studies, I'm done with it, So why am I still kept captive under your watch, aren't I supposed to be released now? When is it ever good enough for you huh?
now you're swallowing what you've puked onto me? you're cursing my lifestyle, how I think, the way I react, my nonchalance to everything and my existence. Reality check, my stubbornness is only derived from my bad upbringing and as you guys to look upon. So, I guess it's your fault?
You tried to kill me. At that moment, the only words I was thinking, wasn't God don't let me die, it was Fuck you. I can't wait to get out of this house. I'm only a fucking teenager. I've done my responsibilities. You've said so yourself taht my only responsibility was my studies, I'm done with it, So why am I still kept captive under your watch, aren't I supposed to be released now? When is it ever good enough for you huh?
Friday, December 17
Boysboysboys
I'm disappointed at the evident decline in the population of gentleman in Singpore. Reinforces my quote: "Mankind is not made up of kind man." It's disheartening the level of boys halting their own level of maturity growth, as they emphasize so much on their rate of puberty. So what if you have a big ass dick when you're a no-brainer. Perform an auto fellatio my dear. Cause that's the closest thing you'll get to pleasure with an attitude like that. I'm not being a sexist or anything. It's just that i can't stand the fact that guys nowadays are just so fucking immature.. or maybe it's just me. Hm, i must proceed with this survey and hang out with more guys. Will update soon.
If I ever stop talking, you know i'm dead.
If I ever stop talking, you know i'm dead.
Friday, December 10
Thursday, December 9
Wednesday, December 8
Tuesday, December 7
omgwtfbbqsia!
Today, I finally got a taste of happiness. I woke up in the morning and switched on the laptop, only to be laughing my fucking ass off at the different conversations with beautiful people. The lame3 chimeng made me fall in love with the 'can't stand it' song by nevershoutnever, by chris drew, my second husband, next to santa claus. After hearing the song and talking to such funny people, maybe, just maybe life isn't that bad after all right? I'm sure 2011 will be a much better candy for me to finish.
P.s/ I've been thinking about bbq foods all day long. To all the fats in my body, please fuck other fat cells and multiply. ew, fat cells are fucking.... wtf, thank god i dont take biology.
gaytankspie, wink.
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Sunday, December 5
Saturday, December 4
Hearts all over the World
Bila cinta kini
Tak lagi bermakna
Yang ku rasa kini
Hanyalah nestapa
Ditinggalkan cinta masa lalu
Dulu kau tawarkan
Manisnya janjimu
Yang ku sambut itu
Dengan segenap hatiku
Bila engkau pergi
Tinggalkanku
Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Ternyata memilih
Cinta yang fana
Perginya dirimu
merobek jantungku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan
Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan
Uuu…
Dalam harapan
K, i know im shlooow.
Tak lagi bermakna
Yang ku rasa kini
Hanyalah nestapa
Ditinggalkan cinta masa lalu
Dulu kau tawarkan
Manisnya janjimu
Yang ku sambut itu
Dengan segenap hatiku
Bila engkau pergi
Tinggalkanku
Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Ternyata memilih
Cinta yang fana
Perginya dirimu
merobek jantungku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan
Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan
Uuu…
Dalam harapan
K, i know im shlooow.
Friday, December 3
How it feels like to be Minnie Mouse
Facebook's a myriad colors of my childhood. A walk down memory lane is welcomed anytime.
Like a picture which could paint a thousand words, a cartoon would probably have enough words to be compiled into a novel. The snippets of quotes from our cartoons stay with us as we age. And them adults say tv is pointless. Let's take spongebob as an example, it's a satirical view of the modern society layered with sweet humor. It shows the life of Spongebob who's a deviant from the norm of society. Even underwater, where the species defies the definition of normal in so many levels, spongebob is weirder i that's even possible. But this alienation from society doesn't stop him from being happy. In fact, he's the happiest person in bikini bottom, underwater.. heck that the happiest fictitious person ever lived.. besides Barney. Ew. I just said the B word. ew. ew. (muntah sekejap)
Teenagers these days are too caught up in the vicious pyramidal structure of the local scene. The last thing they would ever want to do is stand out or even worse being embarrassed. But what's a little dignity loss for priceless happiness? Loosen up a little teens. We're all fighting the same battle. Don't lose yourself because you will when you try to be someone you aren't.
thanks spongebob, powerpuff girls, fairly oddparents whom had been there to help me get through childhood with a great big smile on my face. And I hope the campaign against violence on children will raise enough awareness to put a halt to all of these villains preventing the growth o their wings, their cape, their superpowers, of our little ones.
Sincere Love,
Siti Mahirah.
Like a picture which could paint a thousand words, a cartoon would probably have enough words to be compiled into a novel. The snippets of quotes from our cartoons stay with us as we age. And them adults say tv is pointless. Let's take spongebob as an example, it's a satirical view of the modern society layered with sweet humor. It shows the life of Spongebob who's a deviant from the norm of society. Even underwater, where the species defies the definition of normal in so many levels, spongebob is weirder i that's even possible. But this alienation from society doesn't stop him from being happy. In fact, he's the happiest person in bikini bottom, underwater.. heck that the happiest fictitious person ever lived.. besides Barney. Ew. I just said the B word. ew. ew. (muntah sekejap)
Teenagers these days are too caught up in the vicious pyramidal structure of the local scene. The last thing they would ever want to do is stand out or even worse being embarrassed. But what's a little dignity loss for priceless happiness? Loosen up a little teens. We're all fighting the same battle. Don't lose yourself because you will when you try to be someone you aren't.
thanks spongebob, powerpuff girls, fairly oddparents whom had been there to help me get through childhood with a great big smile on my face. And I hope the campaign against violence on children will raise enough awareness to put a halt to all of these villains preventing the growth o their wings, their cape, their superpowers, of our little ones.
Sincere Love,
Siti Mahirah.
What's my name?
I am so fucking gangsta i am seriously playing neopets in the morning. My username is fyaruins. yay...I think i just died of serious case of boredom.
Rocketeer
Yes, we were bored @ 7.08 in the morning because we've been up tonning at my Awai's place. And yes, you're not the only one who thinks we're vocally challenged, we ourselves thinks so too.
Thursday, December 2
What the Snowman Learned about Love
Easy as a, b, c. More like a, b, c, d, e, f, u, c, k. I could really use a slurpee right now, slurpee right now, slurpee right now-ow-ow. (i-am-having-my-hayley-william-moment)
My fingers ache from the harsh past of writing, unwilling to view such flashback. It has been quite awhile since i've written. It seems rather awkward now. the friction not only lie in the muscles of puny limbs but also in the seismic silence of post sibling rivalry, Details of such bickering will not be stated (reasons behind the fight transcends the laws of absurdity).
My mind's a deadlock. The butterflies churning up a nervous hurricane regurgitated breakfast. Break free from the cages of my ribs, break free, The barbed cage hides the sullen element of this placid aura, muffled by the noise of repeated nagging, complimented with taglines/trademark "Then not your fault, my fault ah?". Sometimes, when I'm really lucky, it's coupled with the steady-ah-watch-me-make-noise-pose: standing akimbo, with hands on hips with is obviously the international sign for (jeng jeng jeng) Just Nod Your Way Out, Missy. If only life was this great everyday. (God, if you're reading i'm just kidding about the previous comment).
Today's the second day of December, which sucks. So hows this Dicksember is treating me, you ask? (fine you didn't ask, but im going to tell you anyway) Well the answer is easy. Let me give you a clue, it rhymes with duck, starts with an f and ends with uck, and looks like your face. If you know the answer, blink 4 times... you blink 3 times! not fair. Fine, since i'm charitable by nature i shall just share the joy of truth. The answer is (sesame street crew saying the letters) gimme an F, gimme a U.. gimme a CK. what does it spell? Boredom!!! Yay.
First off, when I switched to okto, (yes I dont have cable (mio does not cut it) because god is punishing me for killing not one ant, but two(!)) it was hi-5. And lo and behold, every single member has been replaced! I swear I nearly jumped out of my apartment. Until i realized I live on the second floor, and it's not high enough to kill me only enough to flatten my boobs as i fall flat. Gosh, I mean its the fucking Hi-5! I'm only 16 years old and they let such incompetent replacements be shown on the tv, what about other kids?! Do they not think about them? Think about it? Those hardcore Hi-5 fans who would sit through 20 minutes of stupidity just to watch the storytelling part (part favourite aku), how could they continue living knowing they had to face the fact that there would no longer be kathleen. tim, nathan, kelly, charlie! knn, ji tiao si bei dulan leh.
Dah ah bro, wa kene isap corns ah.
My fingers ache from the harsh past of writing, unwilling to view such flashback. It has been quite awhile since i've written. It seems rather awkward now. the friction not only lie in the muscles of puny limbs but also in the seismic silence of post sibling rivalry, Details of such bickering will not be stated (reasons behind the fight transcends the laws of absurdity).
My mind's a deadlock. The butterflies churning up a nervous hurricane regurgitated breakfast. Break free from the cages of my ribs, break free, The barbed cage hides the sullen element of this placid aura, muffled by the noise of repeated nagging, complimented with taglines/trademark "Then not your fault, my fault ah?". Sometimes, when I'm really lucky, it's coupled with the steady-ah-watch-me-make-noise-pose: standing akimbo, with hands on hips with is obviously the international sign for (jeng jeng jeng) Just Nod Your Way Out, Missy. If only life was this great everyday. (God, if you're reading i'm just kidding about the previous comment).
Today's the second day of December, which sucks. So hows this Dicksember is treating me, you ask? (fine you didn't ask, but im going to tell you anyway) Well the answer is easy. Let me give you a clue, it rhymes with duck, starts with an f and ends with uck, and looks like your face. If you know the answer, blink 4 times... you blink 3 times! not fair. Fine, since i'm charitable by nature i shall just share the joy of truth. The answer is (sesame street crew saying the letters) gimme an F, gimme a U.. gimme a CK. what does it spell? Boredom!!! Yay.
First off, when I switched to okto, (yes I dont have cable (mio does not cut it) because god is punishing me for killing not one ant, but two(!)) it was hi-5. And lo and behold, every single member has been replaced! I swear I nearly jumped out of my apartment. Until i realized I live on the second floor, and it's not high enough to kill me only enough to flatten my boobs as i fall flat. Gosh, I mean its the fucking Hi-5! I'm only 16 years old and they let such incompetent replacements be shown on the tv, what about other kids?! Do they not think about them? Think about it? Those hardcore Hi-5 fans who would sit through 20 minutes of stupidity just to watch the storytelling part (part favourite aku), how could they continue living knowing they had to face the fact that there would no longer be kathleen. tim, nathan, kelly, charlie! knn, ji tiao si bei dulan leh.
Dah ah bro, wa kene isap corns ah.
Sunday, November 28
Who's that chick?
Today my cat gave birth. Today there's a pool of blood highlighting her silhoutte. Today I gave birth. In my mouth. To vomit.
I am a teenager! So puck you mopuckerz on confiscating my so-sial life. Life's a dread nowadays, but it's a wonder how I got by. It helps certainly having a delusive imagination and of course my infamous short attention span of a cute 5 year old, everything seems to be fun. like mega fun. like this is so fun i'm going to fucking kill myself kind of fun. like f-u-n. fuuuuuuuuuun.
Ok, no i'm just joking. Maybe a little self-denial will help, I suppose. I need therapy, I swear. Well, I don't know, but sure as hell needed initially. Boy was it hard, with the non-stop crying, and the bloodshot eyes, and the screaming, crying, and the digging of my nose, and did I mention the crying? I was as suicidal as... the suicide girls. except i'm alone. And i'm still alive. And I'm not Japanese.... Ok, fine, my mistake to compare myself to them. May they rest in peace. Amin.
so in these days of entrapment.. I mean enlightenment (I am getting better at the self-denial trickery) winston brightened up my every morning. I occupied my busy, busy, busy ok typo, I meant boring (x3), schedule by playing the guitar (unsuccessful), trying to cook (unsuccessful) and watching mindless tv programmes (unsuccessful). so ladies and gentleman, the moral of the story is when you are in trouble and trapped like me, remember, spiderman can be killed by an insecticide.
I have created a to-do-list, and out of 13 things that I should do, I have done, not 1, not 2, not 21 but zero things! I am living the dream. ....hooray, now I can die happy.
December's coming up and I'm feeling a little artsy-fartsy. Ok more fartsy than arsty. I will exercise my fingers which are turning fairer than snow white (proudly sponsored by my mother's wallet in collaboration with Nivea's Whitening Lotion: Inner skin repair) By producing cutting-edge (ok more cutting then edge) graphic designs for the world (k fake, no one ever reads this shit) to see and love. Before the debut of those design, I would like to bring forth a message from the director a.k.a producer a.k.a manager a.k.a actress #32 a.k.a fine.. the only actress... a.k.a boredgirlstep92 imlegalfuckme@hotmale.cum a.k.a waka waka this. is. fun. I. am. cute. a.k.a stop it siakz.... For the following posts, viewer discretion is advised.
Love,
satsatguRl963
I am a teenager! So puck you mopuckerz on confiscating my so-sial life. Life's a dread nowadays, but it's a wonder how I got by. It helps certainly having a delusive imagination and of course my infamous short attention span of a cute 5 year old, everything seems to be fun. like mega fun. like this is so fun i'm going to fucking kill myself kind of fun. like f-u-n. fuuuuuuuuuun.
Ok, no i'm just joking. Maybe a little self-denial will help, I suppose. I need therapy, I swear. Well, I don't know, but sure as hell needed initially. Boy was it hard, with the non-stop crying, and the bloodshot eyes, and the screaming, crying, and the digging of my nose, and did I mention the crying? I was as suicidal as... the suicide girls. except i'm alone. And i'm still alive. And I'm not Japanese.... Ok, fine, my mistake to compare myself to them. May they rest in peace. Amin.
so in these days of entrapment.. I mean enlightenment (I am getting better at the self-denial trickery) winston brightened up my every morning. I occupied my busy, busy, busy ok typo, I meant boring (x3), schedule by playing the guitar (unsuccessful), trying to cook (unsuccessful) and watching mindless tv programmes (unsuccessful). so ladies and gentleman, the moral of the story is when you are in trouble and trapped like me, remember, spiderman can be killed by an insecticide.
I have created a to-do-list, and out of 13 things that I should do, I have done, not 1, not 2, not 21 but zero things! I am living the dream. ....hooray, now I can die happy.
December's coming up and I'm feeling a little artsy-fartsy. Ok more fartsy than arsty. I will exercise my fingers which are turning fairer than snow white (proudly sponsored by my mother's wallet in collaboration with Nivea's Whitening Lotion: Inner skin repair) By producing cutting-edge (ok more cutting then edge) graphic designs for the world (k fake, no one ever reads this shit) to see and love. Before the debut of those design, I would like to bring forth a message from the director a.k.a producer a.k.a manager a.k.a actress #32 a.k.a fine.. the only actress... a.k.a boredgirlstep92 imlegalfuckme@hotmale.cum a.k.a waka waka this. is. fun. I. am. cute. a.k.a stop it siakz.... For the following posts, viewer discretion is advised.
Love,
satsatguRl963
Monday, November 22
New Year's Day
Dub. dub. dub. My heart thumps a sorrow song. As my yearn to be free germinates, my will to change is ignited. All my life I've been fighting the current, maybe it's time I realize I should just go with the flow. My mind's a deadlock. I feel so empty. But it's okay, I'll be okay, they promised me, but promises are meant to be broken.. but it's okay really, i'm fine, i'll be fine.. right?
Let's not shine the bad light on everything. There's bound to be a lesson that could be eked out of this...
Right?
Who cares? No one.
Myra, compose yourself, it's not the end of the world. Don't throw a pity party for yourself. You are better than this. Yes, people have let you down, but it's because you've let them down too, it's not karma, I was told not to believe in karma, it's called life. Life's a nervous hurricane, it will throw you in the pit of the deep abyss forcing you to face your mistakes and reflect on your sins, only to make you better, so you know how to get up on your feet and sing a song of happiness.
I realized something. All along I thought strong humans are those who fight for their rights, but what makes a stronger human is one who doesn't fight back. I witness so many, like myself, feed on superficial needs like luxurious trips to the make-up store, like a night in town, like gushing down shots of Jack Daniel's. I'm not trying to be a wet blanket and saying all these are wrong and everything, I'm just saying maybe we could live without it for awhile. Maybe, I can too.
I realize today's generation are too fond of being in the limelight with trend weaving in the fabric of their "cool" clothes. Cool doesn't coexist with trends, my dear. I believe they're too engross in widening their social netwrok that they forget their inner circle, the people who brought them up.. their family. They are so impressed by the number of friends they have on Facebook that they forsake quality time with family for "better time out with friends".
I became conscious of the fact that family don't coexist with teenagers. How many of you have heard of a friend sitting down at a round table dining in and indulging in a spread set up by their mother with the rest of the family encompassing the table, giggling and trading stories of how their days went? But how many have heard of teens around the club's table downing shots of alcohol? My point exactly.
I don't know what i'm babbling about. I'm just saying, does it hurt to fit family time into your ohsomothfuckingly busy schedule? If you're not gonna do that, then I will, then I will have the best of both worlds.
Enough of emo crap, as you may know, i am grounded. Don't ask why? (i know you're gonna ask anyway).
In these following days of solitude, what should i do? I think I'm going to cleanse myself. I mean for the past years I haven't really been a daughter, I haven't really been a sister.. all I have been was a vacuum that sucks the money out of my parents and uses my sister's clothes. All I have done, was using them to their advantage now it's payback time I guess.
Maybe I'll try cooking? Or pick up guitar? Or see how much it hurts to attempt suicide. God. i am going crazy i might as well be dead. fjgjdfvheirhgkfhdkvhkdfhvkdfhkvhkxchvkhdkfvhkdhviehivhierhvierhvihbih.
I hate this. Make me feel stronger, please? :'(
Let's not shine the bad light on everything. There's bound to be a lesson that could be eked out of this...
Right?
Who cares? No one.
Myra, compose yourself, it's not the end of the world. Don't throw a pity party for yourself. You are better than this. Yes, people have let you down, but it's because you've let them down too, it's not karma, I was told not to believe in karma, it's called life. Life's a nervous hurricane, it will throw you in the pit of the deep abyss forcing you to face your mistakes and reflect on your sins, only to make you better, so you know how to get up on your feet and sing a song of happiness.
I realized something. All along I thought strong humans are those who fight for their rights, but what makes a stronger human is one who doesn't fight back. I witness so many, like myself, feed on superficial needs like luxurious trips to the make-up store, like a night in town, like gushing down shots of Jack Daniel's. I'm not trying to be a wet blanket and saying all these are wrong and everything, I'm just saying maybe we could live without it for awhile. Maybe, I can too.
I realize today's generation are too fond of being in the limelight with trend weaving in the fabric of their "cool" clothes. Cool doesn't coexist with trends, my dear. I believe they're too engross in widening their social netwrok that they forget their inner circle, the people who brought them up.. their family. They are so impressed by the number of friends they have on Facebook that they forsake quality time with family for "better time out with friends".
I became conscious of the fact that family don't coexist with teenagers. How many of you have heard of a friend sitting down at a round table dining in and indulging in a spread set up by their mother with the rest of the family encompassing the table, giggling and trading stories of how their days went? But how many have heard of teens around the club's table downing shots of alcohol? My point exactly.
I don't know what i'm babbling about. I'm just saying, does it hurt to fit family time into your ohsomothfuckingly busy schedule? If you're not gonna do that, then I will, then I will have the best of both worlds.
Enough of emo crap, as you may know, i am grounded. Don't ask why? (i know you're gonna ask anyway).
In these following days of solitude, what should i do? I think I'm going to cleanse myself. I mean for the past years I haven't really been a daughter, I haven't really been a sister.. all I have been was a vacuum that sucks the money out of my parents and uses my sister's clothes. All I have done, was using them to their advantage now it's payback time I guess.
Maybe I'll try cooking? Or pick up guitar? Or see how much it hurts to attempt suicide. God. i am going crazy i might as well be dead. fjgjdfvheirhgkfhdkvhkdfhvkdfhkvhkxchvkhdkfvhkdhviehivhierhvierhvihbih.
I hate this. Make me feel stronger, please? :'(
Thursday, August 5
August 5th 2010, 2:32 am
I hope you're reading this. This will be a short one so yah. Hi Myra, this is Alvin. I miss you so terribly. I want to be with you again but I know you won't because after reading one part of your post I know things won't be better. I kept thinking of you everytime. Everytime as in every second no matter where I am, no matter what I do. You mean a lot to me & I know I mean a lot to you. I realize living without you could make me hate myself more. I realize loving you was not my regret because I really enjoy myself with you everytime. You are different to other girls in the way you think and say. I just love you so fucking hell much. I miss you, Myra. I really do.
Tuesday, August 3
Listen,
Be the guy who loves her more than she does. Be that guy who would say sorry even if its not even your fault. And if you are, the more you should. Be that guy that says i love you before you hang up. Be that guy that doesn't hang up. Well, before she does. Be that guy who stays up for her because she can't sleep. Be that guy that says goodnight before she does, because you want her night to end well like how the day went with you. Be that guy who asks her out. Be that guy who wants to go out not because she asks you to but because you want to. be that guy that doesn't need to have something to do with her, or a place to go out with her, or run an errand for her, or any reasons to go out with her to want to go out with her. Be that guy who will sit by her side just to watch her breathe, because that itself is the world's most beautiful thing. Be the guy who'll hold her hand when she asks to you to leave out of anger. be that guy who reminds her you love her before she forgets, before she even has time to doubt it. Be that guy who would hug her when she cries. Be the guy who doesn't make her cry. Be that guy who will be there no matter how far she is, no matter how tired you are, no matter how late at night it is, no matter which party you're attending, no matter how much you want to sleep, no matter how boring it is to just watch her cry her eyes out, no matter how ugly she looks when she does because the moment she stops crying and looks up to you with a smile, you know it's all worthwhile. Be the guy who would hug her in the cinema even before she says "I'm cold". Be that guy who gives your jacket or if possible whatever you're wearing just so she won't catch a cold. Be there when she's sick, lovesick especially. Be there when she misses you. Let her be there for you too. Be that guy who shares his deepest darkest secret wit her, so she'll know you trust her. /be that guy who allows her to go out with other guy friends without ay ifs or buts, because you trust her. Be that guy who doesn't want to go out with other girls even if she allows, and even if you allowed her to go out with other girls, because she's the only female you want to go out with. be the guy who will text her first. Be that guy who will wait by the phone when she doesn't reply. be that guy who pushes aside her ego because his relationship with that girl is much more treasured than his ego. Be that guy who will promise not to let go, and means it, and shows it and doesn't let go. Be that guy who would watch sappy, romance movies with her, because she wants you to. Be that guy who acts like the hero in that sappy 90 minutes shit you were forced to watch when you'd rather watch a soccer match somewhere else. Be that guy who thinks even eleven guys cannot compare to that one beautiful lady of his. Don't be the gay guy. Be that guy who would cancel his plans with his friends because she's stuck at home alone. Be that guy to be there for her even when she has nothing to talk about. Be that guy who initiates the talk, not the break up. be that guy who understands her before thinking about himself. Be that guy who tries his sincere best to understand and apologizes when he doesn't but still stick by her side. Be that guy who writes her notes saying you miss her. Be that guy who gives her random sweet surprises, like a hug from behind when she's suppose to meet you. Be that guy who would wait for her from the time you wake up to the time she arrives, when she's suppose to go to your house. Be that guy who wants to change for her, be a better person for her, because she deserves it. be thankful for her, be appreciative of her presence, be apologetic even if you're not at fault. Be that guy you never were.
For all the things you never did to me, do it to someone else. I love you, always have, always will. But i guess, I shouldn't anymore.
Goodbye, Nicholas, birthday boy and doggy. May you take care of him.
(sorry if there's any grammatical error, or any spelling mistakes. my hands are trembling, my brain's not better either so yeah)
For all the things you never did to me, do it to someone else. I love you, always have, always will. But i guess, I shouldn't anymore.
Goodbye, Nicholas, birthday boy and doggy. May you take care of him.
(sorry if there's any grammatical error, or any spelling mistakes. my hands are trembling, my brain's not better either so yeah)
Monday, June 28
Monday, June 21
nothing compares to you
how could you? I gave you my heart, you fucking threw it away. I'm always stuck in the same predicament. Tired of chasing. But dear, you were always worth the chase.
The things we went through, why is always faint in your mind when its constantly celebrated in mine. Im not the one at fault but why am i always crying. We're opposites. Its true. But it didn't mattered until about now, when things that didnt mattered the suddenly did for you. And the most emphasized difference is the fact that you love, or in this case loved, me, but i love you more than you'll ever do.
Does winning a fight with me worth losing me? Do you really like it when you hurt me? I really never knew whats crossing your mind, i know one thing's for sure, its not me, it was never me.
If i knew, i'd let you win every fight, so you wont be outta sight. If i knew, i'd be better for you.
I wish i was good enough for you, i really wish i was.
The things we went through, why is always faint in your mind when its constantly celebrated in mine. Im not the one at fault but why am i always crying. We're opposites. Its true. But it didn't mattered until about now, when things that didnt mattered the suddenly did for you. And the most emphasized difference is the fact that you love, or in this case loved, me, but i love you more than you'll ever do.
Does winning a fight with me worth losing me? Do you really like it when you hurt me? I really never knew whats crossing your mind, i know one thing's for sure, its not me, it was never me.
If i knew, i'd let you win every fight, so you wont be outta sight. If i knew, i'd be better for you.
I wish i was good enough for you, i really wish i was.
Friday, June 18
Alvin?
I love the way you sleep. I love the way your heart beats. I love the way the silence sits comfortably. I love the way we laugh when we realize your heart beat is beating louder when my head is pressed against it.
I love the way you eat.I love the way you slurp your spaghetti. I love the way you stick your tongue out to taste the food first before you chew, in accordance to your explanation when asked. I love the way you chew with your mouth open. No, I don't love it. But it's okay, I love you.
I love the way you love me. I love the way you hug me when I say I'm cold, especially when it's snowing in public transports. I love the way you kiss me. I love the way sometimes in the midst of the kissing session, you'd smile. Or even cuter, or some might say more disgusting, you'll roll your tongue at me. I love the way it's so comfy. I love the way you grasp my hand so tight I can imagine all the bones incinerating into a million pieces. I love the way you smile at me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I love the way you look at me. I love the way you say I love you to me. I love how we would fight over who loves each other more even after knowing we both don't have a definite answer for it. I love the way you kiss my forehead. I love the way you automatically squeeze me, but still leaving ample space for my windpipe, well I doubt you want me to die in your arms right, when I cry. I love the way you say "Look at me". And when I do i'm reminded that I love you. i love the way you practice your marital vows to me. Oh I love you.
I love the way we laugh together. Non-stop. i love the way we laugh at you. the way we laugh at me. And the way we laugh at us. I love the way we laugh at other people. I love the way we feel bad after laughing incessantly for 20 seconds flat. I love how we'll still laugh regardless of the guilty conscience. Ha. I love the way you hold my hand in public. I love the way you hold me tight in crowded places, as if I'll get lost and be lost forever. I love the way you say love me continuously, even in public, even in front of your friends. I love the way you put your hands around me when you're talking to your friends to reassure me that I'm not forgotten nor ignored. I love the way we gossip. I love the way we slap each other. I love the way we make at inside jokes and traditions (waves hands high up and screams tradition). I love the way we recollect these memories and laugh and smile at each other. I love the way you make your first move by holding my hand. I love the way you'll let go of my hand because I said with much sarcasm, "Thank you for making the second move" and then grab my hand before I could say anything else then exclaim with such pride that you've made the first move. I love you first mover. swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping.
I love the way that you're so fucking lame. I love the way your jokes are freezing cold. I love the way you say I'm lame (well I know I am, but, I mean, I don't have to be reminded often you know). I love the way you'll say that then afterwards say with the ah-beng-ai-zai face, but so what, I still love you, then you'll hug me.
I love how we share a love notebook together. I love how we'll take turns to portray our love through words that collates into butterflies that churns my stomach like I just swallowed a nervous hurricane. I love the way you're erm, romantic? Well, I love the way you try to be. (ha) I love the way you'll flood my inbox/fcbk wall with your confessions of love. I love the way you want the whole fucking world to know that out of all the girls in the whole wide world, you only want me. I love the way you love me. I love the nicknames we give each other. I love how there's too many to remember. I love how we're so vulgar but still together. b bee bumblebee pesticide, ha die.
I love how we bicker. I love how we make up. I love how things get better when we do. I love the way you say sorry. I love the way we hug and apologize. I love the way we forgive and forget easily. I love the way you'd approach me after a long period of silence to ask if i'm okay. I love the way you're so stupid to ask if i'm okay when I'm evidently crying. Ha, you the best.
I love how we plans things. I love the way we sometimes plan things but never get it done (well not always). I love how we could agree to disagree.I love the way you talk about our future, with such confidence on its occurrence. I love the way we make near future plans to go to Furnishing Companies like IKEA to clarify how our future house would be like. I love the way we walk around IKEA like we're married couples with kids; calculating our imaginative monthly finances to balance the needs and wants, usually our wants overweighting the other. I love the way we laugh loudly in public. I love the way we stop after awhile of realizing we're in public. I love the way we'd continue to giggle but softer under our breath as we cannot contain was was supposedly meant for the failed rollonthefloorlaughing session. I love how we could laugh so hard and forget what we laughed about half an hour later. I love how we are so slow. I love how your forehead cringes and your frown is exposed. ha, nah, I don't love that. But it's okay, for you, I will.
I love how you can predict what I can say or do or what facial expression I would plaster on my face. I love how I love you.
The best part of it all is, i love the way I'll never end when I'm talking about the things I love about you. i love you alvin. don't let me go.
I don't want to lose you.
I love the way you eat.I love the way you slurp your spaghetti. I love the way you stick your tongue out to taste the food first before you chew, in accordance to your explanation when asked. I love the way you chew with your mouth open. No, I don't love it. But it's okay, I love you.
I love the way you love me. I love the way you hug me when I say I'm cold, especially when it's snowing in public transports. I love the way you kiss me. I love the way sometimes in the midst of the kissing session, you'd smile. Or even cuter, or some might say more disgusting, you'll roll your tongue at me. I love the way it's so comfy. I love the way you grasp my hand so tight I can imagine all the bones incinerating into a million pieces. I love the way you smile at me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I love the way you look at me. I love the way you say I love you to me. I love how we would fight over who loves each other more even after knowing we both don't have a definite answer for it. I love the way you kiss my forehead. I love the way you automatically squeeze me, but still leaving ample space for my windpipe, well I doubt you want me to die in your arms right, when I cry. I love the way you say "Look at me". And when I do i'm reminded that I love you. i love the way you practice your marital vows to me. Oh I love you.
I love the way we laugh together. Non-stop. i love the way we laugh at you. the way we laugh at me. And the way we laugh at us. I love the way we laugh at other people. I love the way we feel bad after laughing incessantly for 20 seconds flat. I love how we'll still laugh regardless of the guilty conscience. Ha. I love the way you hold my hand in public. I love the way you hold me tight in crowded places, as if I'll get lost and be lost forever. I love the way you say love me continuously, even in public, even in front of your friends. I love the way you put your hands around me when you're talking to your friends to reassure me that I'm not forgotten nor ignored. I love the way we gossip. I love the way we slap each other. I love the way we make at inside jokes and traditions (waves hands high up and screams tradition). I love the way we recollect these memories and laugh and smile at each other. I love the way you make your first move by holding my hand. I love the way you'll let go of my hand because I said with much sarcasm, "Thank you for making the second move" and then grab my hand before I could say anything else then exclaim with such pride that you've made the first move. I love you first mover. swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping.
I love the way that you're so fucking lame. I love the way your jokes are freezing cold. I love the way you say I'm lame (well I know I am, but, I mean, I don't have to be reminded often you know). I love the way you'll say that then afterwards say with the ah-beng-ai-zai face, but so what, I still love you, then you'll hug me.
I love how we share a love notebook together. I love how we'll take turns to portray our love through words that collates into butterflies that churns my stomach like I just swallowed a nervous hurricane. I love the way you're erm, romantic? Well, I love the way you try to be. (ha) I love the way you'll flood my inbox/fcbk wall with your confessions of love. I love the way you want the whole fucking world to know that out of all the girls in the whole wide world, you only want me. I love the way you love me. I love the nicknames we give each other. I love how there's too many to remember. I love how we're so vulgar but still together. b bee bumblebee pesticide, ha die.
I love how we bicker. I love how we make up. I love how things get better when we do. I love the way you say sorry. I love the way we hug and apologize. I love the way we forgive and forget easily. I love the way you'd approach me after a long period of silence to ask if i'm okay. I love the way you're so stupid to ask if i'm okay when I'm evidently crying. Ha, you the best.
I love how we plans things. I love the way we sometimes plan things but never get it done (well not always). I love how we could agree to disagree.I love the way you talk about our future, with such confidence on its occurrence. I love the way we make near future plans to go to Furnishing Companies like IKEA to clarify how our future house would be like. I love the way we walk around IKEA like we're married couples with kids; calculating our imaginative monthly finances to balance the needs and wants, usually our wants overweighting the other. I love the way we laugh loudly in public. I love the way we stop after awhile of realizing we're in public. I love the way we'd continue to giggle but softer under our breath as we cannot contain was was supposedly meant for the failed rollonthefloorlaughing session. I love how we could laugh so hard and forget what we laughed about half an hour later. I love how we are so slow. I love how your forehead cringes and your frown is exposed. ha, nah, I don't love that. But it's okay, for you, I will.
I love how you can predict what I can say or do or what facial expression I would plaster on my face. I love how I love you.
The best part of it all is, i love the way I'll never end when I'm talking about the things I love about you. i love you alvin. don't let me go.
I don't want to lose you.
Saturday, June 12
Sweet sunday morning, all by myself.
Hard love what we've done, when with anyone else.
Watch my mascara dripping down.
Baby how did we end up like this? Where are you now?
They say if it doesn't kill you it'll make you stronger.
Oh, but I can't be without you any longer.
Everytime I let it go, baby it's true.
Nothing compares to you.
Nothing compares to you.
I'm running fast, as fast as I can, to get you back, just to get you back again.
I cannot wait, I cannot wait, if we can be, we can be us again.
I cry at night, cry at night, I'll cry for all the words, all the words I didn't say.
Sweet Sundays, sweet Sundays.
Hard love what we've done, when with anyone else.
Watch my mascara dripping down.
Baby how did we end up like this? Where are you now?
They say if it doesn't kill you it'll make you stronger.
Oh, but I can't be without you any longer.
Everytime I let it go, baby it's true.
Nothing compares to you.
Nothing compares to you.
I'm running fast, as fast as I can, to get you back, just to get you back again.
I cannot wait, I cannot wait, if we can be, we can be us again.
I cry at night, cry at night, I'll cry for all the words, all the words I didn't say.
Sweet Sundays, sweet Sundays.
Love lockdown
Don't you think it's weird..
What is?
That humans have a heart each.
And what's weird about that?
It's that they don't use it and
act like they're heartless.
Oh you mean like you?
Yes.
What is?
That humans have a heart each.
And what's weird about that?
It's that they don't use it and
act like they're heartless.
Oh you mean like you?
Yes.
Thursday, June 10
sometimes i wish,
all i could do was to just breathe
through my gills.
Being human is just too hard for me.
Ruining everything that comes by.
Resuscitation of any sort doesn't come naturally.
Having a heart is just too hard for me.
My sadness incognito constantly.
Remember when all we could sing was Barney,
and when all we could do was count to three.
Those were the days we were truly happy.
For it was when recesses from happiness
didn't come easy.
Let's fly away with me,
there's something definitely wrong,
with me, can't you see?
Tuesday, June 8
find your love,
im fucking my canvases while sitting beside a devil's child/anak setan, a palak/cock, a pig and idontknwwhatlah with flying punats flying around! (inside jokes)
I is going to fail my o level. I is prepared to diedie. I is faaaking. I is not acting cute. I is farkingz bored. I is want to zzz. I is super sick. I is see doctor tomorrow. And lastlast, i is in love with you...
Chicken rice punye pantat plastic. Ok fake, im in love with you. Bye.
Ha. I. Am. Still. Here. Do. You. Have. Standardized. Pauses. In. Between. Words. I. Am. Also. Pausing. Okay. Now. Fuck. Off.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Me.
You.
Don't lie,
There arent any doors here to knock.
Just shut up and sing song,
Until your armpits become muscular.
Bye.
Hi.
Kay, seriously bye.
You liar, youre still reading.
Dasar setan.
Devil child, devil child.
Kay bye.
Justin bebek calling me now.
Bye.
I is going to fail my o level. I is prepared to diedie. I is faaaking. I is not acting cute. I is farkingz bored. I is want to zzz. I is super sick. I is see doctor tomorrow. And lastlast, i is in love with you...
Chicken rice punye pantat plastic. Ok fake, im in love with you. Bye.
Ha. I. Am. Still. Here. Do. You. Have. Standardized. Pauses. In. Between. Words. I. Am. Also. Pausing. Okay. Now. Fuck. Off.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Me.
You.
Don't lie,
There arent any doors here to knock.
Just shut up and sing song,
Until your armpits become muscular.
Bye.
Hi.
Kay, seriously bye.
You liar, youre still reading.
Dasar setan.
Devil child, devil child.
Kay bye.
Justin bebek calling me now.
Bye.
Sunday, June 6
Day 1.
yesterday after a session of watching people drinking, i slept over at nonok's house. We were laughing at this girl who was really pissing us both. So then i went to the toilet to release myself from the suffocating stench from my uniform. I wanted to relax myself and take a long shower to forget about the brxxkxp (god, i stl rmb i used this style of writing like last year. Decode it, bitches). The aroma of the shampoo enlightened me. Guess what it said on the bottle? Herbal essence LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP with long hair. Just what i needed.
Then, we snuck out of her house at 1 to meet lxvxn. He's insane. I kept calling him alvin, and it was funny because he likes to joke that he likes me. You should've seen his face.
We went to indulge in smoking... Hot maggi. It was really nice. Ha. Lavin kept taking our phones and reading it like its the most casual thing to do. Asshole. We did nothing (stupid) till around 3. After that, we went up a multi-storey carpark, to catch the stars.
Too much of a coincidence, how they weren't there that night. The north star was there though. But it didn't shine. I wonder why.
I'm done wondering. So we stayed there till 6. My phone battery died in between while making meeting plans with my special friend, alv who was clubbing.
We decided to head back to el's house to sleep. So we did. Well, we weren't suppose to sleep. Because lavin and alvin (confusing right) were waiting for us at the void deck. Ha. I blame her possessive bed. She didn't want to let go of us till we got some sleep. I mean how could we ignore a bed's wise words right.
So at ten, alvin called. And then we headed down. We slacked, played games. Lame ones. Till around 7.
Then lavin and alvin and i headed home. I followed alv home so he could change and then send me home. Hm.
The day was filled with smelly cushions. Duck you aragon. Now i think i have a phobia against pillows now. Ha. Love you people.
Then, we snuck out of her house at 1 to meet lxvxn. He's insane. I kept calling him alvin, and it was funny because he likes to joke that he likes me. You should've seen his face.
We went to indulge in smoking... Hot maggi. It was really nice. Ha. Lavin kept taking our phones and reading it like its the most casual thing to do. Asshole. We did nothing (stupid) till around 3. After that, we went up a multi-storey carpark, to catch the stars.
Too much of a coincidence, how they weren't there that night. The north star was there though. But it didn't shine. I wonder why.
I'm done wondering. So we stayed there till 6. My phone battery died in between while making meeting plans with my special friend, alv who was clubbing.
We decided to head back to el's house to sleep. So we did. Well, we weren't suppose to sleep. Because lavin and alvin (confusing right) were waiting for us at the void deck. Ha. I blame her possessive bed. She didn't want to let go of us till we got some sleep. I mean how could we ignore a bed's wise words right.
So at ten, alvin called. And then we headed down. We slacked, played games. Lame ones. Till around 7.
Then lavin and alvin and i headed home. I followed alv home so he could change and then send me home. Hm.
The day was filled with smelly cushions. Duck you aragon. Now i think i have a phobia against pillows now. Ha. Love you people.
Friday, June 4
Tuesday, June 1
Romance on a rocketship.
You don't need a dollar baby
To steal this heart of mine.
Your heart is worth a million bucks,
And it's beating next to mine.
If you've got the time
I'll make you mine
And lay a million kisses on you.
You don't need a dollar baby
To make my heart sing.
You don't have to buy me stars or fancy cars.
But i'll be glad to wear your ring.
Take out that ring, put it on,
I'll lay a million kisses on you.
If its love you want, i've got it.
Take that ring out of your pocket.
I'll say i do to marry you,
And lay a million kisses on you.
To steal this heart of mine.
Your heart is worth a million bucks,
And it's beating next to mine.
If you've got the time
I'll make you mine
And lay a million kisses on you.
You don't need a dollar baby
To make my heart sing.
You don't have to buy me stars or fancy cars.
But i'll be glad to wear your ring.
Take out that ring, put it on,
I'll lay a million kisses on you.
If its love you want, i've got it.
Take that ring out of your pocket.
I'll say i do to marry you,
And lay a million kisses on you.
Sunday, May 30
A million kisses
Today i had high fever. My boyfriend stood, well, sat by my side to ensure all my medicinal needs are met. And wiping my forehead and neck and arms to help reduce the temperature really proved to me the level of care and concern he has for me. Inducing laughter (the aftermath of the lame forced-to-laugh-out-of-pity jokes and antics) as an aid to the disease also help. Not forgetting the reassuring hugs he gave me all day. How can i not get better? Ha. I love you alvin.
Thursday, May 20
taxi cab.
We stopped checking for monsters under our bed, because we realized they were inside us.
— bloodisthenewblackk
— bloodisthenewblackk
I think that’s what I find most strange about this world. Nobody ever says how they feel. They hurt, but they don’t cry out. They’re happy, but they don’t dance or jump around. And they’re angry, but they hardly ever scream. Because they feel ashamed. Nothing’s worse than that. So we all walk around with our heads looking down and never look up and see how beautiful the sky is.
x,
http://killightstitches.tumblr.com
x,
http://killightstitches.tumblr.com
Alive
1882.) I want your tender lips against mine, I want your warm arms to pull me into your chest, I want your fingers running through my hair, I want your smell to linger on my clothes, I want your affection more than I could ever explain.
happy sunday.
the unrecorded dying words, the unspoken conversations, blanketed with a layer of forgone unfulfilled dreams.
the time passes, and they're gone, he's gone, she's gone, and those who promised they would stay go to.
why ae we so succumb into believing when we know they're just lying? Denial, always a companion.
O we look fo somehing else, like glue. we embace hem ill ou face goes black and blue. we've
go i all, bu we don' know i ye. we keep on looking fo he sunise on he souh. we jus need
some guidance, a hand, o show us diecions. he sun and he sky gives happy ends.
Le's no deny we'e all looking fo he ainbow afe he downpou. Le's no deny,
eveyone's goa leave you. eveyhing's ending. She can' handle i.
(it doesn't make sense., without you is like writing without the letter r and t)
the time passes, and they're gone, he's gone, she's gone, and those who promised they would stay go to.
why ae we so succumb into believing when we know they're just lying? Denial, always a companion.
O we look fo somehing else, like glue. we embace hem ill ou face goes black and blue. we've
go i all, bu we don' know i ye. we keep on looking fo he sunise on he souh. we jus need
some guidance, a hand, o show us diecions. he sun and he sky gives happy ends.
Le's no deny we'e all looking fo he ainbow afe he downpou. Le's no deny,
eveyone's goa leave you. eveyhing's ending. She can' handle i.
(it doesn't make sense., without you is like writing without the letter r and t)
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